Why Crazy, Stupid, Love is a 500 Days of Summer prequel in Witness Protection

Tuesday, August 23, 2011 2:54 PM By Simon

Crazy, Stupid, Love. Comedy. Romance. Chronic absentee from middle school English. Oh, yes. I went there.

Ahem.

In case you don't know, C,S,L (see what happens? SEE!?) is about Steve Carell, a hapless, loveable old schlub whose wife, Julianne Moore, leaves him for being a boner-killer (or whatever). After several nights depressing the patrons of one of those high-end singles bars I like to think homeless girls can reliably go to for free drinks, he is recruited by Ryan Gosling, a douchebag, to also be a douchebag. But then Ryan Gosling meets Emma Stone, a soon-to-be lawyer with a badass friend, Liza Lapira, and likes her or whatever. And then something about Carell and Moore's kid being in love with his babysitter. And everyone hates Kevin Bacon. The end.

But let's look at said babysitter-loving son. His name is Robbie, and he's played by Jonah Bobo (quiet, you in the back). Here's a kid who, hardcore and with no irony, believes in true love. Quite.

Now, if you'll recall, 500 Days of Summer is a movie. What's more, it's a romantic comedy about a dude who believes in true love, and hooks up with a chick who doesn't. This dude's played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who, as I chronicled, has been playing this same dude his entire career. But let's, for a minute, pretend that my brilliant theory is *l'horreur* not enitrely accurate.

Because this Robbie kid is one mid-afternoon viewing of the Graduate away from being Tom Hanson. And, hell, maybe that was just a deleted scene.

Who knows? Maybe he changed his name to distance himself from a Noodle Incident. Maybe he witnessed the group murder of Kevin Bacon, because fuck that guy. Maybe his parents miraculously birthed a precocious little shit who looks like Chloe Moretz. You don't know.

9 comments:

Robert said...

Oh my gosh, I love this theory. I believe this 100 percent.

August 23, 2011 at 7:09 PM
Fitz said...

Perfect! Now if only we could get an Episode II out of it.

September 2, 2011 at 1:15 PM
Simon said...

Robert: *high five*

Fitz: Well, I don't see where they could go from there, but I'd love to see you try.

September 3, 2011 at 11:31 AM
Yojimbo_5 said...

Yup. The kid grows up to be JGL. These two are a couple of the better rom-come of the past 10 years.

And Gosling just made me laugh throughout the entire movie...especially this reaction: http://nitasmoviediary.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/2011-04-07-CrazyStupidLove.jpg

The man can do a double-take like nobody's business.

September 7, 2011 at 2:24 PM
Simon said...

Yojimbo: I liked his reaction to Kevin Bacon's Arrival. And everyone's. Because it was my favorite scene. I'm a sucker for everyone banding together to kick some guy's ass.

September 7, 2011 at 8:37 PM
Paolo said...

I am quite reluctant to brand Gosling's character a 'douchebag' because not once did I see him wear an Ed Hardy shirt. Thank God.

Also, I like the movie because I coincidentally like shiny objects and drinking advice.

October 4, 2011 at 8:10 PM
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