Dear Students and Faculty of [Retracted] High School

Thursday, September 30, 2010 4:40 PM By Simon

Books have not gone out of print. You shouldn't drink and drive. 'Text Speak' is does not count as a second language. Alaska is not an island. USA means United States of America. Other countries do, indeed, make movies. Ladies, 'that's disgusting' is not a proper mantra. Gentlemen, I remain unimpressed with your flexing. Teachers, I know how to follow logic. You need not put it on midterms. Yes, I am reading this for fun. Unless there's a teacher somewhere assigning students CD Payne books, in which case, rock n' roll. Me and my sister do not switch places, so stop asking. I don't care if you saw her in the hall. She doesn't either. Stop hugging in the hallway. Don't complain about how cold it is when you're wearing shorts in January. Hawaii is a state. Stop assigning homework online, it's annoying. Linkin Park sucks.

I can't believe I have to explain this to you.


SugaryCynic said...

You give me hope for the youth of tomorrow

September 30, 2010 at 5:06 PM
Frank said...

You crack me up. I was watching "Three Men and Baby" last night, and I decided that not only does Tom Selleck have an amazing mustache - but he also has the mother of all beefcakes.

October 2, 2010 at 7:14 AM
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