Thoughts on Martyrs

Wednesday, December 15, 2010 5:39 PM By Simon

-As a child, Lucie (Mylène Jampanoï) escaped from a abattoir, where she was tortured for a lengthy period of time. Sent to an orphanage, she makes friends with Anna (Morjana Alaoui). 15 years later, Lucie discovers who may have kept her those years, and when she and Anna go to exact revenge, shit gets, like, real. And gruesome. And, uh, uncomfortable.

-Okay...let's start with happy thoughts. There's a teenaged boy near the beginning, who turns out to be a young Xavier Dolan, otherwise known as Canada's Boy Wonder behind J'ai tué ma mère (I Killed My Mother) and Les Amours Imaginaires (which roughly translates, says me, into 'The Imaginary Loves' or something, or is it 'The Creative Loves'? The latter sounds stupid, anyway. And the official English title is Heartbeats).

-I stall. This shit is brilliantly twisted, and twistedly brilliant, and beautifully executed, and marvelously acted, and simply put, one of the most horrifying horror movies I've ever seen. Not just the acts themselves, but the motives behind the acts. The way it just changes gears halfway through, turning from a suspense/supernatural thriller/horror into something much more sickening. By the end, the only mystery is one best left unsolved, as it makes the last shot almost comforting.

-But I digress. Everything before then is an endurance test, something you can either be proud or ashamed to say you passed.

-To nitpick, as I do (and this involves spoilers. Or subject of potential squeamishness for pussy-ass male figures. Warned.) Highlight any white spaces, beyond 'end' tag, for potentially spoilerific spoilers:

Women, as some may know, have body hair. This includes their pits and their legs. Why is it that movies such as these, where women have been kept in captivity, without even a proper toilet, their legs remain smooth? Their lips will chap, their hair will muss just so, faces bashed in with who-knows-what, chained to walls, tortured beyond hope of sanity, and yet, their legs refuse even stubble?

(End Spoilers)

-As always, people should get Oscars for physical acting alone. Talking to you, Mystery-Double-Jointed-Torture-Victim-Ghost-Lady.

-Weird French accents. This is a Canadian production, I will assume until someone tells me the bidness.

5 comments:

the jaded viewer said...

Best horror movie of 2009 (thats how I ranked it).

The American remake is going to be laughable.

December 15, 2010 at 8:47 PM
franzpatrick.com said...

OH MY GOD. I SAW IT BECAUSE OF YOU. MY EYES!

Thank you. It was brilliant.

That Xavier Dolan??? Dovuhl-you-tee-eff! I knew I got gay vibes.

January 4, 2011 at 9:37 PM
Simon said...

the jaded viewer: It will star Kristen Stewart and will feature a detailed lesbian sex scene. Gotta love America.

Franz: Oh, I'm sorry/you're welcome. And right!? Like, the thought of that kid having a girlfriend...

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