Thoughts on The Green Hornet

Sunday, January 23, 2011 10:35 PM By Simon

-Yeah, I saw it. I needed some quality time with my motherfucking mother, what of it?

-You know.

-Jay Chou's grasp of English is purely theoretical.

-And yet, he is rather adorable, and I'm impressed with his character. Instead of being some Mystic Asian Dragon Warrior, he's as close to a multifaceted character as this movie will get. You still wonder why the fuck he's chilling with fucking Rogan, but he's just as prone to jealousy, stupidity, and horniness as any other idiot in the movie. He's got some backstory (very little, but...), he's somewhat mystefied at his own Mad Skillz as Rogan ('s Britt Reid), he gets pissy and is not infallible and his and Rogan's buddy-ness, as chemistryless as it is, is still kind of sweet. He's not a caricature, is what I'm saying.

-Rogan does his stoner thing, which I get wearier with everyday.

-One, maybe two, scenes of Gondry-ness. This, my friends, is a travesty.

-They kill dudes with the reckless abandon of a heavily eviscerated script. Seemingly average dudes would freak the fuck out at having just killed a gaggle of guys, right?

-This has killed Inglourious Basterds for me, guys. Christoph Waltz, what are you doing?

-Fuck off, Cameron Diaz.

-More. Tom. Wilkinson.

-Da Franco!


SugaryCynic said...

Franco cameo = win. And no matter how egregiously silly/un-Gondry this movie was (and it was both) we can all agree that Jay Chou is ADORABLE!

January 23, 2011 at 11:03 PM
Luke said...

Bummer about the lack of Gondry tropes, but I love that this was a mom and daughter movie. :)

January 24, 2011 at 1:19 PM
Dan said...

Well I enjoyed it :) Good silly fun for the un-discerning pallet (which I have, perhaps fortunately)

January 25, 2011 at 2:31 PM
Anonymous said...

I feel like the Franco cameo might have been my favorite part - and it was ludicrously stupid. Not to mention beneath him.

January 26, 2011 at 8:20 PM
Jess said...

" -Jay Chou's grasp of English is purely theoretical."
Brilliant writing as always. YBLM

January 28, 2011 at 8:27 AM
Fletch said...

Does Waltz's perf here make you more or less interested in seeing Water for Elephants?

Ditto on the Gondry thing - if he doesn't do his thing, why get him?


January 28, 2011 at 8:57 AM
Andrew Simon said...

I echo Jess: "Jay Chou's grasp of English is purely theoretical" was brilliant. Agreed: more Tom Wilkinson would have helped this movie, and especially give dimension to Britt's choices.

January 28, 2011 at 10:20 AM
Simon said...

Sugary: Him and Christoph Waltz should face/off in some foreign-adult-male adorable-off.

Luke: Not really, but I had to put my foot down at No Strings Attached.

Dan: Indeed.

Marshall: How so?

Jess: What's YBLM?

Fletch: Sure, but only because I'm hoping that he can actually be scary again. YBLM?

Andy: Maybe he's got some deleted scenes.

January 28, 2011 at 10:41 AM
Fletch said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
January 28, 2011 at 11:01 AM
Fletch said...


January 28, 2011 at 11:01 AM
Anonymous said...

Ugh, as an Asian, I am frustrated with the stereotypical me-no-speak-English Asians in movies. Or worse, ME-LOVE-YOU-LONG-TIME. UGH.

And scene.

OK, OK, I kinda wanna watch it for Franco. James, right? I hope.

February 1, 2011 at 10:18 PM
Simon said...

Fletch: Ah.

Franz: It wasn't so much me-no-speak-English as really, really shitty pronunciation. Like he learned all his lines phonetically a week before shooting. It's only mentioned, like, twice in the movie, so I don't think it was on purpose. And of course it's James. The Federalissimo is still dead.

February 2, 2011 at 7:57 AM