Thoughts on Opera

Friday, January 28, 2011 12:10 PM By Simon

-Dario, what the fuck is going on with you lately? Do I have to tape the needles to your motherfucking eyes in front of whatever screen is currently playing Opera until you ditch this whole 3-D Dracula nonsense and get back to pretty slaughter of pretty girls? Gawd.

-Honestly, one day you're going to drive me into the arms of Mario Brava, and then where will we be?

-*sigh*

-Anyway, the gist of this good old-fashioned giallo is that, when a famed opera diva gets mowed down by a car, her novice understudy is called in to fill the role of Lady Macbeth in the opera Macbeth. But then, because this play/opera is cursed, and also shenanagins, people start getting knocked off in creatively ketchup-y ways. Daria Niccoladi (who's name I can never spell right) gets a particularly spectacular death, which isn't a spoiler, because this is Argento, so you know everyone's going to die anyway.

-I bring you to a moment: Our Noble Lead is trapped inside her apartment by the killer, when suddenly, out of the blue, a little girl, only seen once in some random non-sequiter early in the film, pops out of the fucking air vent to escort ONL to safety. I do believe my 'What the fuck?' was somewhat audible.

-Dear sweet bloody Jesus of Nazer-fucking-Reth, I will see you in hell, dubbing.

1 comments:

franzpatrick.com said...

I LOLed at the dubbing. At first, I thought the image and the sound was just off... I stopped the movie and ejected the disk about 3 times until I realized, "Ohhhhh!"

February 1, 2011 at 10:11 PM