Cast that Bitch: The Sandman series by Neil Gaiman

Sunday, April 10, 2011 9:22 PM By Simon

So, here's the thing. While I was trying to narrow down some options for that 'Cartoons that shaped my childhood' thing I do on occasion (sidebar coming soon! Maybe. Probably not) (I'm down to Static Shock, Kids Next Door, and Batman Beyond), and also trying to formulate reviews for the shitload of movies I've watched lately (After.Life, the Fifth Element, Single White Female, Batman: Under the Red Hood, what have you...), I suddenly was all, holy shit!, there are so many ways I could be procrastinating right now!. And so I decided to momentarily steal concepts from the LAMB and Film Intel, among others, probably, that I can't think of right now, and do this.

Which will most likely not be a regular feature, because what is around here? But it's something to.

So, I'll give you a quick rundown of the characters of the Sandman comic book series, but not the synopsis, because there really isn't much of a broad plotline that could be explained without going into all kinds of mythology and...junk...

But, here we go, the seven entities known as the Endless, as they've always existed in this universe and always will. They are siblings, and their respective dynamics with each other are rather important in the series.


Dream: Goes by many names, most often Morpheus. He is the title character to an extent, pretty close to the main character. He is the personification of dreams, and presides over (what else) the Dreaming, where all your dreams take place. He is a tall, thin man, youngish, in appearence, but like all the Endless, his appearence changes based on who's looking (for instance, he'll appear as a bald black man in ancient Africa, as a cat to, uh, cats). He's very stoic, among the most responsible of the family when it comes to his duties. He's flawed in terms of personality, very proud and vindictive, even cruel, but is slowly changing his ways, though he doesn't yet realize it. This is, in part, due to a seventy year imprisonment by a cult aiming for his older sister Death. He most often has wild black hair, but can vary in styles depending on the time period, strange, shadowed-in eyes, is very pale and gaunt. He usually wears a robe fashioned into vague flame-shapes. When alone, or among family, he'll wear jeans and a black shirt.

Death: Second eldest of them, personification of, uh, death, she is best classified as a perky goth, appearing early-to-mid 20s. Pale with black hair, is ackowledged by both gods and mortals to be the best looking of, uh, anyone. Always wears a silver ankh around her neck, and, y'know, whatever goths wear. She is perky (but not obnoxiously so), friendly, and is (if this helps) called 'Cool Big Sis' on TV Tropes (it probably doesn't). She is among the only people who will, unprovoked, call Dream out on his Wangsty shit. She most often interacts with Dream in the series, but is shown to be protective of Delirium (as everyone seems to be). Kind of the breakout character, so be careful of the hypothetical nerd rage that will be unleashed should you cast anyone of CW ilk.

Delirium: The youngest of the Endless, appearing as a young teenager, maybe 14, though there's probably some wiggle room, one blue eye, one green, constantly changing appearence. She's a barely-to-never lucid, innocent (in a way), scattered, easily distracted, prone to long tangents of ranting nonsense, but upon further inspection, make complete sense in the context of the conversation. She used to be Delight, but an unexplained event changed her.

Desire: Appears as a young, completely androgynous person, something like Annie Lennox, Bowie, and Duran Duran. Is in casual war with Dream, though they used to be close. So says Wikipedia, knower of all: "Desire is described as being of medium height, smelling faintly of summer peaches. Desire casts two shadows, one black and sharp, the other translucent and wavering. Desire's smiles are brief and sharp. Its skin is 'pale as smoke,' and its eyes are 'tawny and sharp as yellow wine.'" It is the cruelest of them all, it likes to carelessly meddle in the affairs of It's siblings, causing the rift with Dream, mostly due to the fickle, self-centered ways of the emotion itself.

Despair: Desire's twin, she appears squat, flabby, pale-skinned, and naked, with black hair and pointed teeth. Wears a hooked ring with which she scars herself. Though she often conspires with her twin, she appears more connected with the other Endless, most notably in missing Destruction and having some fondness for Delirium. Doesn't talk much.

Destiny: The oldest of the Endless, appearing much like the Grim Reaper, always in a brown robe, with an old face peaking out. Reads from a large book, known sometimes as a Cosmic Log, chained to his wrist. Blind, calm, detached, and he can't read aloud from the book, as this would cause a world-collapsing paradox (I just thought you'd like to know that...). Tall.

Destruction: Burly, red-haired, and bearded. A couple centuries ago, he abandoned his duties as Destruction and went to wander the Universe, though he didn't cease his control over it, he just doesn't preside over his realm, it's all very complicated. He is constantly trying to learn about his existence and gain control of it. He is very close to Delirium, who eventually goes on a quest to track him down (accompanied, reluctantly, but Dream). Doesn't appear much in the continuous story until later, though he does appear in flashbacks.

Other characters, if you're familiar with them (there are so many) can be cast as well, if you want. So, uh, if you got nothing better to do...go ahead...


Yojimbo_5 said...

Morpheus: David Thewlis
Death: Norah Jones
Delirium/Delight: Saorise Ronan
Desire: Jude Law, dubbed by Lauren Bacall
Despair: Linda Hunt
Destiny: Peter O'Toole
Destruction: Gerard Butler (as Brian Blessed is too old now)

April 11, 2011 at 12:16 AM
Andreas said...

These kinds of exercises can be fun, but I feel like casting live-action actors for the roles of the Endless would just be pointless. (As much of a LOL as it is to imagine Linda Hunt playing Despair.)

I'll always believe that if any adaptation of The Sandman wants to NOT SUCK, it HAS to be fully animated. Which could be potentially awesome, if they got a cast of great voice actors. Or we can all just go back to reading The Sandman BOOKS and end all this foolishness... mmmm, such good books.

April 12, 2011 at 7:05 AM