Tales from the Bargain Bin: Blood of Dracula's Castle

Wednesday, July 7, 2010 11:11 PM By Simon

(I had a banner for this, but I can't find it)

Picture me, your androgynous compadre of a blogger, that Arthur Rimbaud/Screaming Toast (IT CAN'T BE BOTH!) that makes your heart sing. Picture me strolling down the hallowed halls of (uh) Wal-Mart.

(don't judge me, ass hat)

I happen upon the five dollar bin of DVDs, that I browse while my Parent gets shampoo or 9mms or whatever Parents do in Wal-Mart. And I find a bit of glorious cheese in the form of the Core House Greats Collection.

Yeah. Epic.

So the first film in this illustrious 3-disk, 12-movie collection is Blood of Dracula's Castle. The synopsis is as follows:

"Count Dracula (Alexander D'Arcy) and his vampire wife (Paula Raymond), hiding behind the pseudonyms of Count and Countess Townsend, lure girls to their castle in the Arizona desert to be drained of blood by their butler George (John Carradine), who then mixes real bloody marys for the couple. Then the real owners of the castle show up, along with Johnny, who is a serial killer or a werewolf depending on which version you watch. The owners refuse to sell, so Dracula wants to force them to sell."

Or something.

The first thing you should know, people: This is by Al Adamson. The director behind Dracula vs. Frankenstein. That Al Adamson.

The film looks like it's been put through a broken paper shredder. The actors would surely be flattered to be compared to wood. There is a ten minute chase sequence for no reason. The eponymous Dracula is only mentioned as Dracula in passing. This movie features two of the most bored captives in the history of celluloid. It wasn't even that fun, not as incompetant as F vs. D, yet holds no artistic merit.

And scene.

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