Because I don't care enough for a full-fledged review:
-It's okay, pretty funny, until the last half hour, when everyone becomes a comic book cliche. Don Cheadle's Rhodes goes from dignified army man into wise-crackin' black sidekick. Natasha Romanov commits two superhero movie sins I will kill you for: Taking down her hair for battle, and yelling, "He's gone!" I can understand the spandex body suit, but wearing your hair loose while kicking ass just seems impractical. And, yes, sweetie, we can see that. Plainly.
-Nonetheless, Scarlett Johanson (I refuse to look up the proper spelling) and Samuel L. Jackson have now been in at least two comic book movies together, this and The Spirit. Now, while that movie was pretty awful, they were the most entertaining thing about it, as The Octopus and his deadpan, eye-candy sidekick Silken Floss. Here, they kinda play the same general roles, not really, but y'know. I gotta say, I quite like the idea of them being, like, besties or whatever.
-Creating a new atom to cure blood poisoning? You don't say. How far we've sunk into the ludicrousies of pseudo-science.
-I miss Jeff Bridges.
-Stan Lee confused for Larry King? That could totally happen.
-Okay, Paltrow. I am willing to give you another chance. Don't fuck this up.
--This movie...is so...loud.
--You know that supercute scene from the trailers, the 'You complete me' thing? The trailers lied. Horribly.
--New Inception trailer played before! More Joseph Gordon-Levitt than ever before! Marion Cotillard finally shows up! Cillian Murpy and Michael Caine speak and junk! TOM HARDY! My god, it was a room of nerdgasms.