Harry Potter and the Awesome McAwesome Sauce (Part 1)

Friday, November 19, 2010 4:22 PM By Simon

(or, y'know, whatever you wanna call it)

(warning: obsessive, delirious spoilers from a raging part-time HP fangirl. I say partime because I can never get excited about the movies or books until the day it comes out, in which case I wake up shaking with such anticipation I nearly throw up from all the repressed squealing)

Gah motherfucker gah.


Dobby was happy, guys. HE WAS FUCKING HAPPY! He had his crowning moment of badassery (delightfully delayed so he could unscrew the chandelier), and he had a new friend in Luna, and they all had just made their brave escape (save for a few disturbing moments of Bellatrix-on-Hermione torture I didn't need to see), and THE BITCH KILLS HIM!

Oh, Dobby. He never even got to see what pants felt like.

And GAH! Why Mad-Eye, JK Rowling? He hardly got to be awesome for ten minutes, and you knock him off!

Bill got to be all noble with Fleur while she was in Harry form ("Bill, don't look at me. I'm hideous."), Hedwig dies (along with, I presume, her Angry Inch) (also, sob), the people I was with in the theatre were dicks and wouldn't stop screaming at everything, Dumbledore dies again, Number 11-12 is mysterious, hardly any Remus, Tonks has a normal hair color (les horreurs!), and some bullshit about a sword that I'm pretty sure is setup to get the cast naked and in various points of copulation.

A fine movie, friends. Fine, just fine.


Andrew K. said...

Loving your stream of conscious posting. Slightly OT I always hated Tonks in the movie...well not so much hated her as in completely forgot her. That's arguably the worst thing that happened in translation from book to screen - Tonks becomes a non-entity.

November 19, 2010 at 6:09 PM
Andrew K. said...

Ugh, stream of consciousness. It's my duty as an English student to correct myself.

November 19, 2010 at 6:11 PM
SugaryCynic said...

Naked Harry and Hermione getting it on was SO DAMN FREAKY

November 19, 2010 at 7:38 PM
Simon said...

Andrew: God, I know. She's just chilling out dating Remus on the sidelines for her part. And fear not, I hear it's very fashionable for writers to mispell things.

Sugary: It felt like child porn. Like, I knew you when you were ten, stop being sexual beings!

November 20, 2010 at 4:49 PM
Colin Biggs said...

Ah I hate waiting for this thing.

November 22, 2010 at 11:39 AM
Anonymous said...

Cannot wait for Bellatrix bitch to die.

November 23, 2010 at 2:05 PM
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