Monday, May 17, 2010 6:29 PM By Simon

No, I do not mean the delightfully Narmful musical satrring a young Christian Bale, I mean the news of the day! You idiots!

Marilyn Manson and lady friend Evan Rachel Wood are set to star in 'Splatter Sisters', a throwback to 80s horror. Because, Manson, your other film projects have just gotten along swimingly (see). Anyway, it involves David Gordon Green, with nothing but lavish praise for his two stars, so, kay, we'll give it a shot.

Ewan McGregor takes former-Johnny Depp role of 21st century ad exec sent back to Don Quixote's time in the eponymous, long-gestating movie from Terry Gilliam. So, alright.

A live-action 'reworking' (ahem) of Cinderella is in the works, from the writer of The Devil Wears Prada (which is also, apparently, a crappy screamo band). Huh.

So Armando Iannucci, writer, director, and producer of my film-love In The Loop, is back, with an unelaborated film called 'Out the Window', the 'slapstick comedy' to Loop's screwball(ness). Yay.

Zoe Saldana, one-woman blockbuster/blowshitup lady, is starring in 'Columbiana', about a cold-blooded assassin who secretly seeks out the men who gunned down her parents in front of her as a child. Always with the Freudian excuse. Can't a chick just be badass, without having some kind of emotional plunderin'? Honestly.

Christopher Walken, Christina Ricci, Shirley MacLaine, Bill Pullman, and Maria Bello are all for action comedy/caper/road flick/whatever 'Wild Oats'.

'Coronet', a romantic thriller or something, now stars Ralph Fiennes and whatsherface, chick from Quantum of Solace.

Cameron Crow might be getting Terrence Howard as Marvin Gaye, putting his legendary-man-biopic quota up to two upcoming.

Mark Hamill adapting own graphic novel.

Adrien Brody is joing Woody Allen's new flick, 'Midnight in Paris', apparently a very flamboyant role.

And, finally, Bruce Willis joining Rian Johnson's 'Looper', as older Joseph Gordon-Levitt. So...what?


Robert said...

I'm up for anything with Armando Iannucci or Maria Bello, so these news headlines sounded good to me. haha

May 17, 2010 at 8:07 PM
SugaryCynic said...

darn, I like Newsies. aw well, this wild oats thing sounds interesting if only for the diverse cast list

May 17, 2010 at 8:22 PM
Luke said...

Oh wow... I was hoping when Manson and Wood got together that they would disappear off to some faraway land... but alas, now there are movies. :(

May 18, 2010 at 10:18 AM
D Swizzle said...

Hey, guy, I happen to love Evan Rachel Wood.

May 20, 2010 at 7:40 PM