Thoughts on I Sell The Dead

Monday, May 31, 2010 5:38 PM By Simon

-Starring British Dude from Lost, Ron Perlman, and Larry Fessenden, about two graverobbers in a Victorian era where the dead springing back to life in all different forms is common place among the city's underbelly. In the beginning, we see Willie Grimes (Fessenden) beheaded, and Father Duffy (Perlman) coming to take the final words of Willie's partner, Arthur (uh...Dominic Monaghan). Here, he explains how he and Willie got into the business, and furthermore, how they got accused of murder.

-Now, see, this movie is funny. Like, really funny. And also terrifying in places. There's their first encounter with the undead, a vampire who twitches about, and it's scary, but also kind of hysterical as Willie and Arthur try to wrangle her. I wish they had more scenes like that, with just these two supposed seasoned professionals (even though they border on bumbling) deal with the vampires and zombies and aliens they find in the graves. I would dig that.

-But, no. A whole subplot involving a rival gang, the House of Murphy, these vicious, showy dudes who, admittedly, do get an awesome backstory scene. But really, it slows shit down, gives the movie some semblance of a plot. Which, y'know, fuck plots. Plots are for pussies and old people. I want morons beating zombies to death with shovels, damn you!


What was the point of the character of Fanny, anyway? She's there for maybe five, ten minutes, before getting a knife (or a ninja star...? Let's go with ninja star) to the forehead. Like, seriously, Glenn McQuaid (god, how Irish is that?), what up? She's, like, the scapegoat for Willie and Arthur, the only one of them who does any killing, the one who convinces them to go to the island to get some lost zombie crates. Basically getting them in their current predicament, and adds some cleavage, and some Irish-chick stereotypes. Then she dies. The entire plot could've gone on find, smoothly, without her. She doesn't even add any emotional shit for the main two, she gets mentioned twice after the fact as 'what about poor Fanny?' Then, nothing. God, producers, just except some bromance.

-Still, this movie is kind of awesome. Go rent it or whatever.


D Swizzle said...

hey erika, guess what?

May 31, 2010 at 6:17 PM
D Swizzle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
May 31, 2010 at 6:18 PM
D Swizzle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
May 31, 2010 at 6:18 PM
D Swizzle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
May 31, 2010 at 6:18 PM
Simon said...

Holy bejeezus, you're determined.

I'll write something tomorrow, okay? Now leave me alone.

May 31, 2010 at 6:19 PM
Zach S. said...

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I had fun working on it.

May 31, 2010 at 6:49 PM
Alex said...

I thought this movie could have been either a lot funnier or a lot scarier- it just sort of stayed in the middle and wasn't all that entertaining. I'm assuming Fanny was just added to get some cleavage in, just like so many women characters haphazardly written into male-dominated movies.

May 31, 2010 at 7:06 PM
Angie said...

Ron Perlman? A period film? Zombies? I'M IN!

June 1, 2010 at 10:47 AM
Anonymous said...

I am truly delighted to read this web site posts which includes plenty of helpful facts, thanks
for providing these kinds of information.

Review my blog post :: ranger forum

April 4, 2013 at 12:47 PM
Anonymous said...

Thanks for every other great article. Where else may anybody get that type of information in such an ideal manner of writing?

I've a presentation subsequent week, and I'm on the look for such information.

Also visit my web site ::

April 20, 2013 at 9:23 PM
Anonymous said...

It is the best time to make some plans for the future and it's time to be happy. I've learn this put up and if I may I want to suggest you some attention-grabbing issues or tips.
Maybe you can write subsequent articles regarding this article.
I desire to learn more issues approximately it!

Feel free to visit my page ...

April 21, 2013 at 3:42 AM
Anonymous said...

My partner and I stumbled over here coming from a different web page and thought I may as well check things out.
I like what I see so now i am following you. Look forward to looking
into your web page again.

My web page ... ranger forum

April 27, 2013 at 4:42 AM