Thoughts on Zombieland

Sunday, May 30, 2010 7:00 PM By Simon

-So, thanks in part to a tip off from good ol' Travis, I went to Blockbuster with a free rental coupon and a dream: to reap the benefits of a washed-up business, bless em. Yes, I planned on digging through their 3 for 20, 4 for 20, 5 for 20 bins of pre-viewed DVDs. And dug I did, dig? So, in the 3 section, I found many a spoil: The Box, The Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Informant!, Crank 2. But, no. I found my prizes among these. (500) Days of Summer! I Sell The Dead! And this. My beloved. The movie I shall hold dear to my heart until the next great zomromcom comes. A joyous day, 'twas.

-So, when we (I, Danielle, and Parental) went to this in theatres, I told them ahead of time, I said, "We gotta stay after the credits, yo. There's an awesome scene afterwards." So the movie ends, and these two jokers, they stand up to leave. After I explicitly told them benefits await if only they were to stay seated. I know!

So I tells em, I says, "Were you not listening? There's awesomeness lying underneath these credits!"

They says, "MRAWWWWWWW!", because they're pterodactyls, duh. But I tells em I'm staying whether they do or not. So they basically have to stick around because, y'know, I'm their world. So we hover about the entrance, everyone else has left (suckas), and these two yahoos are getting fidgety. I tells em to hold their fucking horses, yo! They keep saying, we indulge you, I, because we loves you, you're our High Priestess, bitchez, but we know for a fact you're wrong. And I'm all, bah humbug, skalliwags, you'll see!

So the song credits have gone by, advertisements almost done, and they begin to leave. And I'm all, garrrrr!, and they're all, mrawwww!, and I'm all, sssssssssa!, and they're all, szjhfsxf!, and basically it's down to who can make the weirder sound.

And then the credits end.

And. I. Won.

Seriously, my lovelies, I told them were they could stick their mrawwwws, I lost my shit. I wish I had recorded the victory dance I had done just then, oh, what a glorious dance it was!

-Go Tallahasse. That is all.


M. Carter @ the Movies said...

Fantastic movie, and you are a cool cat for knowing to stay afterward. It reminds me of what happened in the theater where I saw "Iron Man 2." About 2/3 of the audience left as soon as the credits started rolling, and later more trickled out. Only about 8 people stayed through aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall the credits (there were a lot), and then the promo for the next film came on. Some guy way up in the back yelled "Suckers!" And I pumped my fist in the air and yelled "Right on, dude!"

I love being among my own kind. :)

May 31, 2010 at 9:38 AM
Simon said...

When I saw IM2, almost the entire theatre had heard of the post-credits at that point, so they all stuck around, with smug, shit-eatimng grins at the few people who had shit to do, presumebly.

Frankly, I don't think that was worth it. I mean, a hammer? We don't even get any Thor face time?

May 31, 2010 at 9:42 AM
Darren said...

I really liked it. I was worried it might try too hard to be Shaun of the Dead, but it actually managed to be its own film. And Woody Harrelson is incredible. Give him an Oscar already (I don't dream it'll be for his more "out there" work or something like this, but give him one anyway).

June 1, 2010 at 1:25 AM
Sam Turner said...

I now feel very un-cool, un-cultured and un-knowledgeable for not watching till after the end credits. My life will never know what it's missing (until I buy the Blu-ray).

June 1, 2010 at 5:46 AM