Four of Them

-A bunch of bratty kids get sent to this abusive boot camp.

-A movie that has perfected toeing the line between neo-camp and ridiculously bad. A hopelessly reactionary PSA for parents, with a passive-aggressive grudge against the kids themselves. All the teenagers have some kind of Freudian excuse for why they act out against their parents, and are all secretly geniuses or something. Take Mila Kunis's character, who's name I forget. It is one of those cases where everyone is raving about how fucking smart she is, but we never see her actually do smart things. At one point, we see (flashback mode, ya'll) that she paraded around in front of her mother and stepfather's clas-say dinner party and announced that her stepfather rapes her every night. This is, by her own admission, a lie, and incredibly stupid. I mean, seriously. Then she limps around like a fish before her boyfriend, played by Gregory Smith in what might be the least dead-eyed performance of the younger actors, sets up an elaborate plot about being a junkie to get sent the camp to rescue her. This is also ridiculous, because they're teenagers, and I doubt either one would go to such lengths for each other. I really do.

-Anyways, when he shows up, shit finally starts happening, albeit...somethingly...

-I don't know. It was entertaining, at least. I don't hate Mila Kunis, and on her better days I kind of like her. She's not offensively bad here, but just kind of hangs around. All the other actors are unmemorable at best, but for Peter Stormare, who's the nefariously dedicated camp director (he is obviously Swedish, but his sister and co-director is American for some reason).

-Needleprick.