Toy Story 3 is the best movie EVER!

Sunday, June 20, 2010 12:20 PM By Simon


-Okay, so Woody and the gang start out the movie in dramatic reenactment of a train heist, involving alien orphans and death-by-monkey. It is epic.

-Then, shit gets real when, after a home-video montage, we are down to the core characters (Wheezy's gone! Bo Peep's gone! ETCH IS GONE!!!), banished to the toy box for years. In a sad attempt at reinvigorating playtime, they steal Andy's cell phone and call it, so he has to dig through the chest to find it. He callously tosses Rex aside to get the blasted thing. We are left to wonder who the real monster is.

-The army men, their mission complete, parachute out of Andy's window, because the green troops are always the first to get thrown out. This is seriously like Rambo, guys.

-Andy is leaving for college, and through a series of unfortunate misunderstandings, Woody and co. end up donated to Sunnyside Day Care, a totalitarian wasteland where all new toys are left in the Alligator Room, the three-and-under groups of kids who are so monsterous your faith in humanity will be shaked to its core.

-Okay, shit goes down, I won't spoil it for you darlings, but I must say, there is a really intense clown.

-Also, during the climax, we get a scene of such amazing animation, one that is really, truly, genuinely (ahem) scary, some kids in the theatre starting crying.

-Why is Tim Allen credited first on the poster?

-Wait...Buzz and Jessie are dating now? NO! NEVER! Jessie and Woody are the one true couple! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

-Go see this thing, you dicks.

-Such a perfect ending, it had, I think it'd be better if we left it alone, but of course, it's making a bajillion bucks, so it may never be, but I won't mind at all, people.

-Two more days of school, bitches!

-Well, fine, three, but the first two are finals, so its not like I'm going for the last day.

-Someone stopped following me.

-*sob*

74 comments:

SugaryCynic said...

god dammit, I need to see this thing already!! also boo, whoever stopped is a butt. Losing followers bites :(

June 20, 2010 at 1:09 PM
Yojimbo_5 said...

When I lose 'em on Facebook (2 and I know who they are, and they're friends of mine!) I get the blue silhouette and the anonymous "Facebook user"...BUT it STILL COUNTS!

Beyond that, if someone no longer follows you (and you're still publishing), do what I do: giove 'em the ol' kiss-off. "Your loss, toots!"

I knew you'd plotz over "Toy Story 3." Now check out my review and start crying your eyes out.

June 20, 2010 at 1:35 PM
Runs Like A Gay said...

Everybody is loving this movie so much I think I'm going to need to wait to watch it after the hype has calmed down. Can it possibly be that good?

Actually I will also have to re-watch the first and and watch th second one for the first time I suspect. Is that a horrible thing to have to confess?

June 20, 2010 at 2:12 PM
Runs Like A Gay said...

btw, good luck with the finals.

June 20, 2010 at 2:13 PM
Simon said...

SugaryCynic: It does bite.

Yojimbo: If I cry my eyes out, you'll have to donate yours to me. Can't be walking around blind on your behalf, now can I?

Runs Like A Gay: That you have to rewatch them? No. That you haven't seen the second yet? Yes.

And thank you.

June 20, 2010 at 2:30 PM
Wild Celtic said...

It was amazing!! I was pretty much choking back sobs at the end. Tears streaming down my face, biting my lip thinking, "Get a hold of yourself, woman! It's just an animated movie! Oh, god that's so sweet!!" ::sniffles and sob::

I love Toy Story. I was raised with these characters, so to see them again really brought back memories and happy feelings...it was wonderful. That and I'm going back to college this fall and my mom was crying when Andy's mom was sad to see him leave for college... general tear festival at the end, but I laughed and smiled through most of it.

June 20, 2010 at 8:35 PM
Darren said...

It seems that Armond White is the only person in the entire world who does not love this film.

Stupid World Cup, making Pixar stagger their European releases.

June 21, 2010 at 1:10 AM
Bryce Wilson said...

Told you.

Glad you liked it Simon.

Like I said my only complaint is that I liked Bonnie's toys so much I wanted to spend more time with them. I know there would really be no way to make it work, but come on.

And I completely share your annoyance with the anonymous drop. I would actually prefer that they took the time to tell me to "Go Fuck myself" in the comments, that way you don't waste a day wracking your brain trying to figure out who it was.

June 21, 2010 at 1:41 AM
Luke said...

Just saw it last night - total greatness. I definitely agree that it could be turned into additional films, but I truly hope not - it was so perfect the way it wrapped up. And that part where you said the end portion was making some children in the theater cry? Yeah... then call me a child, I guess. :)

June 21, 2010 at 8:25 AM
Fitz said...

Armond White is a stooge, makes me wonder why I don't write for the NY Post.

June 21, 2010 at 11:05 AM
roisinrecommends said...

Can't wait to see this. The clips I've watched are hilarious. Mr Pricklepants seems like an hilarious addition!

June 22, 2010 at 3:31 PM
Yojimbo_5 said...

Timothy Dalton is the voice of Mr. Pricklepants, too!

June 22, 2010 at 8:11 PM
The Floating Red Couch said...

Didn't Buzz and Jessie hook up at the end of the 2nd one? Woody and Bo Peep are the one true couple

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