My Dream Family

Sunday, April 4, 2010 2:44 PM By Simon

Lately, I've been dissatisfied with my family. Parental 1 has been neglecting my cinematic needs, aka not letting me see The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo that I've been waiting to see all fucking year, Parental 2 being a general dickface, Sister being obsessed with whatever pretty person she is this week. Therefore, I've decided to come up with my own, dream family. And, I made a button, in case you wanted to make your own, while at the same time giving me free ad space! Yay!

Dad: Unnamed Father, Fight Club
The Omniprescent, unknowing catalycst for the entire movie/book. Thumbs up, my friend.
Runners-Up:
Bill, Kill Bill

Mom: Beatrixx Kiddo, Kill Bill
Come on. Do I need to say it?

Runners-Up:
Lee Geum-ja, Sympathy for Lady Vengeance
Emily Mortimer in Dear Frankie
Beverly Sutphin, Serial Mom

Sister: Magenta, The Rocky Horror Picture Show
Oh, Magenta. You sly, sly dog.

Runners-Up:
Bliss, Whip It

Brother: Lars, Lars and the Real Girl
He's a crazy, dogged nice guy. Plus, a sister-in-law you're guarenteed to not hate!

Runners-Up:
Tom Hanson, 500 Days of Summer

That was, of course, a lackluster list. But both Google and Wikipedia refuse to work, and really, I'm useless without them.

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