5 Direct-to-DVD Movies That Didn't Suck

Friday, April 9, 2010 9:13 PM By Simon

(no order)
Some of these I will assume because they have awesome casts, and I really want to see them. Don't judge me.

1) Smokin Aces 2: Assassins' Ball

This largely depends on your feelings about Smokin Aces, of course, but me, being a sucker for gory gun battles and blood spatter, enjoyed the shit out of it. So.

2) Dead Like Me: Life After Death

A continuation of the cult TV series about a team of grim reapers, made up of the dearly departed soles unlucky enough to die around another reaper who's quota is filled. If you ever wondered what happened to that annoying southern chick from A Different World, look no further. Also, George is kind of awesome.

3) The four Futurama movies

I don't care what your opinion is of the last three, the first one, you will admit, is utter brilliance. After a five-year absence of our favorite delivery crew for four feature-length epics with alien nudists, a tentacle planet named Yivo, et cetera. Fine, the last two weren't very good. Shut up.

4) White Noise: The Light

I've never seen the first one, and have only barely seen this one. About a man who, after a near-death experience, begins to see people who are about to die. And, I know that sounds like every other thing in existence, it's actually quite good. And how often does a DTV get and 86% on Rotten Tomatoes?
Fine. Out of 7.

5)Stewie Griffin: The Untold Story

Again, you probably have to like Family Guy to like this. But this is the last thing about the show I genuinely liked. And that, sirs, will last forever.

ONES I'LL PROBABLY BUY, BECAUSE I LIKE THE CAST:

Peacock

I wanted to see this way before it was DTV, okay? The trailer looks so delightfully Hitchcockian, Cillian Murphy has the nerdiest, yet creepiest American accent (I'm hearing traces of Red Eye here. Does this, by the way, count as his dreaded villainy?), it's nice to see Ellen page not being all quirky teenaged, and Susan Sarandon! Who doesn't love Susan Sarandon?

6 comments:

Michael C. said...

Wow. With Peacock it's a little stunning that cast can't get you even a half-hearted theatrical release. Then I remember that Crazy Heart was within a hair's breadth of going DTV.

April 10, 2010 at 11:51 AM
Drew said...

Interesting list! What about Trick 'r Treat? I thought that was one of the funnest horror movies I've seen in a long time, still shocked that one didn't get a theatrical run.

There's also a film from the late 90's titled Kolobos that went straight to video and was markedly better than the majority of horror films that were released that year. Worth seeking out, though it's probably a bit hard to find at this point.

April 10, 2010 at 11:57 AM
Simon said...

I thought Trick R'Treat was released in LA?

April 10, 2010 at 2:48 PM
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