Hollywood Ugly

Tuesday, April 20, 2010 7:40 PM By Simon

Hollywood ugly is when we're told one person is ugly because they have glasses and a ponytail, when they're played by a former model. Hollywood ugly is when they pretend they're purporting a positive message for us, The Children, on acceptance and beauty comes in all forms, etc, as long as that beauty is under 110lb, and is one salon visit away from being Angelina fucking Jolie.

Hollywood Ugly is when they put glasses, braces, and relatively cheap clothes on America Ferrara, but you take that shit away, and it's still America Ferrara. It's when Charlotte Gainsbourg is supposed to be the ugly wife to Naomi Watts' blonde mistress in 21 Grams. It's when Lili Taylor is supposed to be a hideous bet-date in Dogfight. It's when the entire cast of The House Bunny is only considered attractive after being fitted for more pink than a Massachusetts maternity ward. When Amanda Seyfreid is Plain Jane to Megan Fox's demon cheerleader, Leelee Sobieski in that Barrymore movie, Christina Ricci in Penelope.

It's to make studios feel good about themselves with their 'message', while avoiding casting a genuinely meh-looking person. It is fucking annoying.

In conclusion, there's the hilarious trailer for Easy A, starring Emma Stone and Amanda Bynes, both of whom I love. If Ari Gaynor shows up, I will lose my shit. Here.


Univarn said...

When I have kids I'm going to do the right thing as a parent. Point to magazines and tell my kids "you see kids, how skinny they are, that's what a freak of nature looks like."

April 20, 2010 at 8:25 PM
Robert said...

Great post, so true. It's kind of like, I noticed how in at least "Eternal Sunshine" and "Little Children", Kate Winslet is referred to as being "plain" or like, "not that attractive". I'm just like...SERIOUSLY? Ugh, hollywood.

Otherwise that trailer looks amazing.

April 20, 2010 at 8:29 PM
SugaryCynic said...

reminds me of this bit Jim Gaffigan does about when he watches movies with Halle Berry and keeps getting distracted: "she's playing this poverty-stricken woman and I'm just like...well why doesn't she just become a model?"

April 21, 2010 at 12:39 AM
Luke said...

Though I love Ugly Betty despite its obvious issue of the "ugly" girl actually being quite beautiful, I agree. I concur with Univarn's idea... that'll teach 'em! :)

April 21, 2010 at 8:33 AM
Castor said...

Amen Simon! Amen! Or maybe... only ugly people say that? lol

April 21, 2010 at 8:43 AM
Alex said...

Ugh so true. As an average-looking, glasses-wearing member of the female populace, I can't stand that fake ugly thing. I hate how when a girl wears glasses not only is she considered unattractive, but very often in movies she can take them off whenever she wants (on a date, etc), as if they're only useful part of the time? Bullshit.

I present you with another exhibit of Hollywood ugly: In The Devil Wears Prada (I have no idea why I watched that awful movie), Anne Hathaway is considered overweight by the high-fashion world. She feels good about herself losing weight and going below a size 6. Guess what everyone, not only is a size 6 NOT AT ALL FAT but also Anne Hathaway is almost positively never a size 6 in that movie. So seeing an already- \thin Anne Hathaway forcing herself to lose weight is just another way to give girls more insecurity about weight.

Anyway sorry. This is something I personally really resent. Easy A looks hilarious, though. Emma Stone is too cute.

April 21, 2010 at 10:34 AM
elgringo said...

"Hollywood Ugly" has always been my "type." Glasses, ponytails, and overalls? Where can I buy her a drink? But seriously, my defining Anti-Hollywood Ugly moment happened when Rachel Leigh Cook walked down the stairs to Sixpence None the Richer. I was like, "WHAT THE HELL'D THEY DO TO HER?" And then I was all like, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" If the girl doesn't look like Harry Dean Stanton, then she's not ugly.


April 21, 2010 at 2:21 PM