The One I Might Have Saved

Friday, April 23, 2010 3:51 PM By Simon

Arbogast on Film recently did this thing, where you pick a character from your favorite horror movie, a minor one that gets axed, and say why you'd save them. That thing stopped taking any, probably, but I'll do it anyway. In fact, I'll do five!

(note, if there are no pictures, I just couldn't find any)

1) Farmer's Son from the opening of Drag Me To Hell
We are first introduced to the Gypsy's Demon (that's what I call it, anyway) when a man and his wife come, carrying their young son in a blanket, who claims he's been seeing demons, to Shaun San Dena, psychic. In the next five minutes, the demon invisible-bitch-slaps all the adults, beats the kid until he falls over the top floor stairs onto the curiously bare floor below. Before Shaun or the parents can do anything, he is sucked into the floor by the demons of hell, and the last we see of him is his hand clawing at the air. Not only does this subvert the typical Children=Invincibility rule most movies retain, it's a precursor for things to come. And all the kid did was steal a necklace.

2) Asian dude from Carriers
You know, the guy who we see in one seen being gunned down by rednecks in the most souped-up truck I've ever seen. The next morning, you see him hung from a telephone pole, with a sign nailed to his chest that says (ahem): "The C_____ Brought It". You gotta feel bad for the guy. He manages to survive a pandemic apocalypse, and what does him in is a couple of hicks with a minor artillery.

3) Person on Recorder, Evil Dead

He sounded like a cool dude, okay?

4) Brad, Night of the Living Dead

"They're coming to get you, Brabra..." Congratulations, Brad. Not only are you the first official on-screen death-by-zombie, you are also the first douchebag older brother. You will be missed.

5) Private Mailer, 28 Days Later

We'll never know him, sure, but I, being a sympathizer for all kinda-living things, found him the least evaaal of all the military characters.

Happy Friday!


Dawn said...

It's not 'Brad'...Barbara's brother is Johnny.

April 26, 2010 at 1:38 PM