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Wednesday, March 31, 2010 7:49 AM By Simon

Rupert Grint and Robert Sheehan in Cherrybomb.



You know those creepy-as-shit E-Trade talking-baby commercials? The ones Lindsay Lohan through a bitchfit over? They're getting a movie.

Sheldon Turner, screenwriter for Up in the Air, is making his directorial debut. Says Empire: "The story is that of a man betrayed and framed by his mentor and sent to prison (we're guessing he wasn't a mentor in crochet or bridge or something). On release, he is determined to get revenge on his old partner - not entirely surprisingly - but since the latter has gone clean and started a new life, he's not so keen on the idea".

Stephen Dorff, who will always be Nekkid Dude Stealing Screentime From Joseph Gordon-Levitt in Shadowboxer to me (okay, fine. I'll give him SFW), has joined War of the Gods. Yay?

Oh, shit. I hoped you all liked the Goldie Hawn vehicle Private Benjamin, because Anna Faris is in the remake.

Stephenie Meyer is writing a Twilight novella about a throwaway character in that third book I skimmed.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RHEA PERLMAN!

The Playlist has details on Steven Soderbergh's 'Contagion', including who's playing who.

Hey, anyone wanna buy an old maybe-Terrence Malick script about mental illness called 'The English-Speaker' on eBay? Again, the Playlist has the answers.

Tomorrow, When The War Began, based off the cult-classic John Marsden Red Dawn in Australia, has a trailer. Don't try Youtube.

Errol Morris, Oscar-winning director of Fog of War, is doing a new documentary on Joyce McKinney, who, in the 70s, kidnapped English Mormon missionary Kirk Anderson, chained him to a bed, and forced him to have sex with her. She jumped bail, only got in absentia one year in prison because, then, England didn't have any laws about this particular subject. In the 80s, she was accused of stalking the poor dude, now with a wife and kids, and in 2008, tried to clone her dog in Korea. So, yeah. No official title yet...

EDIT: Thankyou, Anomalous Material, for reminding me-

Andy Samberg and Zachary Quinto cast for Anna Faris/Chris Pine romcom What's Your Number.

Tom Hanks announces huge-ass cast for 'Larry Crowne': Tom Hanks, Julia Roberts, Gugu Mbatha-Raw, Cedric the Entertainer, Rami Malek, George Takei, Dale Dye, Peter Scolari, Bryan Cranston, Wilmer Valderrama, Taraji P. Henson, Malcolm Barret, Bob Stephenson, Jon Seda, Maria Canals Barrera, and Holmes Osborne.

Marion Cotillard and Rachel McAdams cast in Woody Allen's untitled new comedy.

Exit Through the Gift Shop: A Banksy Film has a trailer.

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